Dateline: Thursday morning
The relentlessly cheery electronic drone of my cell phones alarm, drags my consciousness from my recurring dream of being chased by an anthropomorphic potato chip through a field of scissor wielding bunnies. my eyes flutter open and reality floods in. Preparing to turn off my alarm, I turn my head ever so slightly to the right and...
Mind numbing, spirit crushing agony flood my awareness. Turns out, once the shock of the actual accident wears off, getting rocked by two impacts in a car wreck can leave the body a wee bit sore. Still, I had work to get to, so I only allowed myself a lean fifteen minutes of gibbering and twitching before, I commenced crawling by my fingernails into the shower. It helped. My pain level went from apocalyptic to merely agonizing. Just a mild throbbing, and a headache which left me certain that horrible gremlins were doing unsavory things to my thought-meats.
Onward to work! I shouted to no one in particular, and then went...onward... to work. I spent most of my work day alongside a coworker with a truly intense love of the ol' Mara Jade who's major contribution to our discourse today was saying "What are you on, bud... bud?", whereupon he realized bud could be short for buddy and also be a slang term for cannabis and giggled to himself, for about the next two hours, occasionally saying 'bud'. Overall though, I was starting to feel better. Alas this was not to last. Soon we were engaging in the all important 'moving beer from point A to point B' portion of our duties, he was behind the wheel of the electric cart we use for the transport, when he (finally) noticed he was about to run into somebody. He brought the cart to a screeching halt. The keg behind me continued moving forward, it's speed unchanged. Ready for a math equation?This was not the highlight of my day.
In closing, I shall leave you with this... UNCENSORED GREMLIN ON THOUGHT-MEAT ACTION!!!
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